Thank god for password savers and whatnot. Otherwise, I'd never remember what my password was, or even what email I used.

I might move out this summer. Might, being the keyword. I don't like living alone, so I've been looking in ads for people who need roommates at the school I'm going to this fall. It'd be nice to meet new people, and sort of assert an independence by moving away for home. Two in one special, sort of. Right?

On another matter, what is up with all these skinny little brats all "I need to diet! I'm so fat!" shut up, already. The part that annoys me the most, is that they usually say it around people bigger than them - what message do you think your giving your friends, whether they're two pounds plus your weight, or two hundred? No one stops to think about that they might be kind of insulting their friends when they start the "IM SO FAT AND I NEED TO DIET LIKE CRAZYYY WAHHH" shit? I don't know why it bothers me like it does. Maybe because I used to be heavy-ish during my middle school years and I was generally insulted by pretty much everyone who complained about being fat. Say a friend of yours is going around doing the pound pity party, and ALL they can do is bitch and whine and be a fucking nusiance and your thirty pounds heavier than them. Would that insult you?

K is doing this a lot lately. She already drinks nothing but water, barely eats and insists that anyone can live off of one salad for three days. And then the whole "I need to lose weight" thing starts up. And she goes around saying this in front of big people, which makes me embarrassed, because I feel so bad for them that she's literally throwing their own weight problems in their faces and all she can think of is the non-existant flab people call SKIN she supposedly has everywhere. Wow, ever heard of a human being having skin? SHOCKER. Call the media, alert the anorexics and pound freaks everywhere.

Okay, rant over. I promise.

It was another long day and it's only half over. I got a lot of work done though. I just have to stay up all night tonight getting my portfolios together and then turn them in tomorrow morning and then I'm done. Well, not done. I still have one more final project. I have 3 weeks to catch up on.

So, my friend/classmate Cristiano always asks me to pose for him for assignments,etc. I love doing it. It's actually really fun despite the fact that I'm half naked most of the time. I rather enjoy seeing what other people come up with yet being a different part of it. A couple of weeks ago he asked me to pose for a project in his digital class and I said yes like always. I knew the concept yet I had no idea that it would be made into a giant poster and put up on the wall in the computer lab... for the rest of the year. Can anyone say awkward?!

Ya so the whole time in lab I was completely embarrassed. Everyone kept pointing it out. It's not so bad that it's a picture of me but I'm in a bra, on the wall, in a classroom where all my teachers and classmates go. Ugh!

So here it is. Laugh all you want. So embarrassing. You don't get a close-up though. It's bad enough as it is.

I hope I was probably airbrushed enough that everyone won't notice its me.

i'm about ready to cry, and i hardly ever cry.

Can I get serious for a moment here?

I think the worlds out to get me. Cliche, I know.

After all  the worry and anticipation of this day is over that I've been at for months, I felt calm...collected..maybe even, dare I say it? Happy.

But that never lasts long. Of course not. So I get a text message from Kristi, asking me if I wanted to go draw out on the road at midnight tomorrow night. So I was like, sure. Because she was SUPPOSED to spend the night with me and we were going to do that. I asked her early this week if she wanted too, and she said yes, so naturally someone she knew for 14 years of her LIFE comes second best to the boyfriend that's been in there, for what, a month? It's not even a big deal, but the fact she repeatedly breaks promises to me is taking a toll now. She decided that Jordan was going to spend the night with her tomorrow and we were all going to go draw on the road and possibly get ran over together.

Uhm, no. I've been nice about it since they started dating, after she ended a three year relationship with a abusive jerk ass who kept her all to himself and refused to let her see people. I mean, he's better than her ex, and he's like her first real boyfriend [considering the boyfriends before the ex were all middle school ones and didn't last very long at all]. But still. fourteen years of friendship < a month with a guy who she complains about to me 24/7

irritating. very, very irritating. Does this even make sense? I think I'm rambling now.

And to put the cherry on top, she asks me why I'm mad? HELLO. Earth to you, kid! I could've had plans for tomorrow by now, but I told the other people that asked me to hang out that we were hanging out, and they've already went and made other plans with other people.

She didn't even ASK me if I minded her not spending the night with me so her boyfriend could spend the night. Again.. He practically lives there.

Ugh, I'm so over this. If I get into medical school, I'm not going to be sad in the least about people I'm leaving behind. At least I wouldn't have many goodbyes to hand out, I guess.

I haven't updated in a while, so I figured I should.

There isn't too much to update about, and I think sometimes that's exactly why I hate doing it. Updating, that is. I'm not a fan. Sitting down and trying to re-count your past month is a little tedious.

Actually, forget the update. The only important thing about the update would be to express to you (the collective you), that I'm doing fine. And, I am. I'm doing good, even. hey hey!

I miss some the friend's that have moved away, or the ones that I haven't seen in a while, but the silver lining of that cloud is that they're only a plane ride away. In the grand scheme of things, a plane ride isn't that out of the question. I figure it'll make seeing them again that much more exciting. I mean, you know, since I haven't seen them in a while. You get it, I'm sure.

*&^*&%^%#Q#@!!!!!!!!


son of a fucking bitch, i am mad.

she did this last week.    NEWS COUNT = WHEN SOMEONE IS ANGRY THEY TEND TO HAVE RUDE TONES AND WHEN THROWING THINGS AROUND THEY ARE DEFINITELY PISSED OFF. or maybe she's too fucking stupid to get a fucking grip.

Okay, so my mom invited this girl over. I won't say her name. I'll just call her BITCHFACE. cause I like it better. SHE DIDNT EVEN ASK ME IF I WANTED HER OVER, NO, SHE ASKS MY MOM IF SHE CAN SPEND THE NIGHT WITH ME BECAUSE SHE KNOWS MY MOTHERS TOO NICE TO SAY NO. she's gross, really. she thinks shes all cool and badass but she totally isnt. Can't she get her own fucking friends? i'm 20, she's 16. we have NOTHING absolutely NOTHING in common. I'll start at the very first factor we don't have in common. SHE DOESNT BATHE BUT LIKE ONCE A FREAKIN' WEEK AND I ACTUALLY TAKE A SHOWER EVERY FKN DAY. so she smells like a rotting catfish and im totally not even fucking exagerating, its sickening. FIRST, SHE LAYS DOWN ON COUCH A. THEN LAYS DOWN ON COUCH B. LIKE LAST WEEK. THEN SHE GETS UP AND GOES INTO MY ROOM AND CRAWLS IN MY GODDAMN BED NOT EVEN BOTHERING TO SEE IF I MIND OR NOT. hello, you've got a fucking bed at home. go there and use it you snobbish little BITCHFACE BRAT. some of us arent willing to give up our bed. now i'm going to have to BURN my sheets. and possibly my mattrece. i'm not kidding at all. she smells like a marina full of dead smelly catfis. She can't stay in one fucking place. First she contaminates COUCH A. then does it to COUCH B. now my FUCKING BED.

ID FUCKING SCREAM RIGHT NOW IF IT DIDNT WAKE UP THE ENTIRE FUCKIN HOUSE

im seriously so pissed off. ive gotta sleep on the floor.  she contaminated the covers so ill have NONE
id sleep out on the fucking porch if i wasnt afraid bugs would get all over me and i'd get raped by some crazy lunatic. which actually happens, thank you very much.

i was like "what are you doing" and she was like "im sleeping in your bed" so i grabbed my pillows and i was like IM SLEEPING ON THE FUCKING FLOOR THEN

HELLO, ANGRY. shes a fucking dumbass if she cant pick that very subtle hint. seriously. NO ONE SAID SHE COULD HAVE MY FUCKING BED. seriously, arent you supposed to ASK PEOPLE before you use/take/stink up their stuff? honestly.

it wouldnt even fucking bother me if she actually SHOWERED AND HAD GOOD HYGEINE AND CLEAN HAIR. BUT NO. THATS SO SICK. REALLY.

and this isn't even the entire story. she ate EIGHT RIBS. EIGHT BIG RIBS. three my dad left aside for me while i was making the ice cream. she TOOK THOSE AND ATE THEM TOO. so i totally had like ONE RIB TO MY NAME, and she knocks my plate into the pool. fkhf4090r74b02


i really want a punching bag. i have so much anger built up in me at the moment, i'm seriously having to sit on my hands when not typing in hopes of not going in there and slapping her and telling her to GTFO of my damn bed.

Am I the only one who thinks the fashion for girls right now is just fucking ridiculous? I'm talking about mainstream fashion. I wont even get into the fashion of the scenester bitches. Although somewhere between now and the last time I went to the mall they seem to have sort of merged into a giant mess of so called "style".

Ive never been one to really follow trends. Maybe if they were cute trends I will hop the bandwagon, but most trends are not cute and therefore I try to steer clear of them. The reason I think I do this is because everytime I see a new trend, it takes me a good 6 to 8 months to process when in the hell this shit came into vogue, and by the time I accept it, the trend is over and some new bullshit is around that I hate even more.

Apparently its ok now to look like a homeless person. I went to H&M and no lie, every single item of clothing in there looked like it was taken off the back of a bum, not washed or ironed, and then put on the rack for people to buy.

Then this other store consisted entirely of tunics with no form or shape to them, that were underneath a screen t-shirt, that was underneath a vest, that was underneath a hoodie, that was underneath a cropped jean jacket, paired with a tiny jean skirt that look like it had been done with a bedazzler, over a pair of black leggings with lace around the bottom, with a giant WWF world championship sized belt, with a bulky purse that could easily carry all your shit along with a 35 pound turkey.

What the fuck is wrong with the world?

Please. Tell me. Who wears this shit? And why? WHY?

Moving along to a lighter subject...

IF you've seen the house on Practical Magic, well when I become a million bajillionaire, and I build my own house, I'm going to build it just like the house in that movie. Cause Im seriously obsessed. I want it on the ocean front too.

Either that or the Haunted Mansion ride at Disney. The way the outside is designed, thats how I want my house. And the inside to be all gothic and dark reds and golds and velvet and cherry wood and candles everywhere. Gothic x 234. So hot.